Selfishness is when you think that your experience is different from others. In other words you experience Joy or Pleasure separate from others. This harms you because:
- You feel pain or feel indifferent when you see happiness of others
- You become greedy to create more happiness for yourself and those who concern you
- You alienate others with this emotion
Selfishness is a tool used by the Ego to create separation, so that you stay away from the truth that “All is One”. Ego creates groups to enjoy happiness telling you that your group is separate from the “other” group. So sometimes people are happy with their own family and do everything within the family and for the family. Anything external from family does not give them happiness. Sometimes people do things for their own community and the “other” communities are outside of their boundaries. Sometimes selfishness creeps in friendships, companies etc.
Ask yourself, Why experience of the other cannot make you happy?
- When you laugh and rejoice when your child gets an award or he jumps around the swing or eats his favourite ice cream, why you cannot be happy when someone else’s child does the same?
- Why just be happy when you or your spouse gets a promotion or when you buy a new car or house? Why not feel the same happiness when your colleague experiences it?
- Why only wish well for those of your community? Why only celebrate your own festivals?
- Why choose to only help those friends who have helped you in the past? Why mistrust the one who needs you today?
- When you worry about the welfare or higher education or new opportunities for your child, does a thought about your brother or sister’s child cross your mind?
- When you buy a gift for your child, do you also think about your relative’s child who has come over to stay with you for few days?
Sometimes people are selfish for their own parents and disregard their in-laws. Some are selfish for their own sensory enjoyments and disregard their family. Selfishness closes the heart chakra that thrives on generosity and oneness. It is an illusionary emotion. If it was not true, you would never be reading autobiographies of others and getting inspired or watching movies and serials and enjoying as though it is your own experience. When selfishness is released, our true nature of selflessness is experienced. With this, heart opens up to joy of life.