It is very obvious to build set of expectations, when in a relationship. Be it a healthy friendship, a love affair, sibling, relative or official partner. You expect them to behave in a certain manner with you, or to the ones close to you. You expect them to consider your opinions, live in a certain manner, so on and so forth. In this quest, you tend to get disappointed if, the other person does not behave, the way you expect them to.
In such situations, you need to calm down the inner voice of your ego which distracts you from the reality. Instead, you must evaluate the situation objectively.
You need to see, whether it is a repetitive behavior; whether the person is doing it time and again, or is it just the difference in thoughts and opinions, that has led the person to, act and behave in a manner which you disagree of. You need to ask yourselves the following before drawing any conclusion.
• Never Assume: Assumptions can make things worse. Interpreting the behaviour of the other person based on, the actions or decisions he/she makes, without even thinking can make a permanent damage. Never falsely assume the person to be wrong and link it to his/her character. Rather, analyze and study the situation which led that person to behave or take such a decision.
• Empathize: Firstly you need to accept what has happened unconditionally. Till you do not accept, you cannot see the situation in the right light and will continue to blame and accuse and feel powerless and victimized. Along with empathizing, you need to analyze what could have happened, that would have weakened his/her resolve. Know that every person has his/her own priorities, weaknesses and limitations.
• Give space and time: Reacting instantly to a situation may create more problems and words and actions once let out cannot be reversed. Hence, it is always better to give time and space in order to analyze the situation, gather all the thoughts and then take a wise decision.
• See the Big picture: It is time to rise above the situation and see it from a larger perspective. Weigh the relevance of the situation and the consequences of your actions in the long run before you do anything.
• Forgive: To err is human and to forgive is divine. Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the situation. You can forgive and also break up with the person. Forgiveness helps you, let go of all emotions that do not serve you and see the situation from a neutral perspective and take a wise decision. Forgiveness allows you to deeply understand the situation and choose the right path forward for the higher good.
• Practice Non attachment: Attachments lead to expectations and content. These are illusions that lead to a lot more pain rather than pleasure. Non-attachment is our higher nature and in this state we are in Love, Bliss and Compassion.