Just as there are those who fear speaking, there are people who have fear of listening to others. Such people in a one-to-one interaction would rather talk than listen to the other person. But communication is a two-way process where both sides understand each other to meet the purpose of communication. In the absence of an empathetic listener on one side, the purpose of communication fails.
Symptoms of listening blocks
• You will not hear to listen, but you will hear to respond. Even when the other person is talking, you are talking in your own head to yourself and making up a reply.
• You will have great impatience when the other person is talking.
• You will always interrupt when the other person is talking.
• In extreme cases, you will just not allow the other person to talk in front of you.
Because of this a person fails to understand the other person and talks from his own reference. A vital part of understanding ingredient is missed from the communication, and a person enforces his own ideas. Whether this is between a couple or between friends, parents and children or at workplace, this kind of one way communication leads to misunderstanding and frustration for both people.
Why does a person fail to listen?
The reasons could be the following:
• There is a fear of other person’s opinion affecting you. You may fear that other person’s viewpoint may change your own viewpoint adversely. And that could demotivate or dissuade you from your goals. So you decide to close your ears.
• There is a fear of criticism. You fear that the other person may criticize you and that could be potentially dangerous to your self-worth.
• You feel overwhelmed with listening and regard the other person as speaking too much and too irrelevant.
• You have disregard for another person’s right to opinion and right to expression.
• You have lot of impatience and wish to hurry things up and meet your goals.
With these listening blocks, a person displays lack of empathy for others and this closes his heart. He often ends up misunderstanding others and the whole intention of communication is not met and the resultant actions are misaligned or wrong. With this, nothing much is achieved except creativity blocks, misunderstandings, bad relations and bad decisions.
Vishuddha Chakra or Throat Chakra, located at the throat region above collar bone, is associated with both hearing and listening. This Chakra corresponds to the laryngeal plexus. Vishuddha Chakra energy is responsible for proper functioning of the lungs and the thyroid gland. Any imbalances in the Chakra can cause breathing problems and thyroid related problems. Unbalanced energy in this Chakra makes a person overly talkative, dogmatic, and dominating in conversation and a very poor listener.
How to come out of the listening blocks:
• You have to balance the energy of the Vishuddha Chakra.
• You have to look at your fear of lack of trust in holding on to your own opinions, and release the fear. Know that your opinions will not change by mere listening to another point of view.
• You have to look at your fear of criticism and release it, with the knowing, that your self-worth is not dependent on anyone’s opinion. We are all equally accomplished souls with the same divinity, even though our opinions may differ.
• You have to honour the right of others to communicate, and have a right to an opinion very different from your own.
• You have to open your heart and fill it with empathy and compassion for a fellow human being who is on the same journey of life, and is here for fulfilment of a life purpose. He deserves to have you as a listener, so that he can express his unique identity.